PRODUCTIVITY / LEADERSHIP
18 Minutes by Peter Bregman BOOK SUMMARY Vitals Hardcover (288 pages), Business Plus (September 2011) ISBN-10: 0446583411 PSRP: 24.99 USD
Last Revised February 14, 2013 Overview: 18 minutes aims to bring your life into focus – to think about who you are, and how you can best use your talents to achieve the things that will make you happy, productive and successful. What this book teaches you about motivating yourself also applies in thinking about how to motivate others.
Review: Compatible and complementary with the ideas from Workability and David Allen’s Getting Things Done. Inspired, filling in a few missing blanks in other productivity ideas that weren’t necessarily obvious. Highly recommended. Part I: Pause
5.
Taking a break, slowing events down, focusing on outcomes before responding – and diversify your perspective, will allow you to see possibilities that you might otherwise overlook. 1.
Hover about your world. Don't let momentum drive you deeper to somewhere you don't want to go. a.
b.
Slow down. Stop pushing so hard. If you suspect you might be wrong, argue less and listen more. Buy time: "That's an interesting point. I need to think about it some more" or "Tell me what you mean." Listening reduces momentum; it doesn't commit you to a point of view. Start over - "If you were starting from scratch, knowing what you know now, would you make the same decision?"
Develop other identities by spending time and acting on them. Be consistent: choosing rituals that have meaning to you and doing them religiously over time, solidifies your identity. Having multiple identities can help you perform better in each one. 6.
Great leaders have the confidence to look critically at own perspective and stay open to the views of others by slowing down, even if they know they are right. 2.
3.
4.
The incredible power of a brief pause. Stop the action for a few seconds and catch your breath. Don’t respond right away. Raw unadulterated emotion is not the source of the best decisions. Only a few seconds are required for your prefrontal cortex to get control over your amygdala – the source of your emotions. Pause. Breathe. Then act. Stopping in order to speed up. Strategy to do something challenging and sustain it over a long period of time (like training for a marathon): take a moderate few days, 1 hard day, 1-2 days of complete rest and restart the cycle. Rest days give you time to think and studies show that this pause/rest also means you'll have more fun. Develop a ritual of self-imposed brief and strategic interruptions. Be religious about having a rest day. Seeing the world as it is, not as you expect it to be. Work to avoid ‘confirmation bias’. Challenge the assumptions / expectations that limit your choices. Instead of always focusing on what's wrong, look for what's right and what's changed. This takes practice. For example, do you really need to do everything you think you need to do? Ask yourself "What do I not want to see?"
Expand how you view of yourself - diversify your identity. "Establishing your identity through work alone can restrict your sense of self, and make you vulnerable to depression, loss of self-worth, and loss of purpose, when the work is threatened," says Dr. Paul Rosen, a Professor of Psychiatry. If you also identify yourself passionately as a father / mother / artist / athlete / loyal friend - if you lose your job, you'll be fine. Part of recovery from mental illness is reclaiming the other identities in your life beyond the mental illness.
Recognize your potential. Almost all of us move through life with the hidden sense that we are destined for more – that we are extraordinary, underneath ordinary exteriors. This is what Susan Boyle's success awakens in us. But we also know we can't purchase transformation – Boyle's success was 35 years in the making. Allowing yourself to be molded by your own gifts means having courage; letting yourself be exposed, be mocked until one day they stop laughing and start clapping.
7.
Where do you want to land? React/respond only after you’ve thought about the outcome you want. The next time someone yells at you, think about the outcome you want before responding. Empathize. Ask some questions about the concerns raised in the midst of the screaming.
Part II: What is this Year About? Start to organize your life around things that matter and make you happy. Recognize and use your gifts and move toward your goals. This section examines your strengths, weaknesses, differences and passions that form the foundation of your success and happiness. It's the intersection of these four elements that your time will be best spent. Focus on areas you want to spend the majority of your time over the next year.
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8.
What to do when you don't know what to do. Don’t be paralyzed by the limitless options in choosing a plan. Shape your year around these four behaviors: a. b. c. d.
Leverage your strengths Embrace your weaknesses. Assert your differences Pursue your passions
Pursue opportunities at this intersection; luck and persistence will follow. Don't worry about having a definitive plan or where you want to go. Focus on where you are. Understand who you are. This is where your power lies. Start here. 9.
Reinvent the game: Leverage your strengths. In looking at wars fought in the past 200 years, in which one side was at least 10x stronger than the other, the weaker side won almost 30% of the time. They won because they fought a different war than their opponents. Figure out the game you can win based on your strengths.
10. Embrace your weaknesses. Don't avoid them. Spend time this year where they're an asset rather than a liability. Our quirks may well be the secret to our power. 11. Assert your differences. Don't blend in. Figure out what makes you different and use it to your advantage. 12. Pursue your passion (desire). The best interview question to determine success in a position? "What do you do in your spare time?" People are often successful not despite their dysfunctions/obsessions, but because of them. Know your obsessions, and you will understand your natural motivation. Recover your passion by pursuing your desire. As you focus for the year, pay less attention to "shoulds" and more attention to "wants". 13. Pursue your passion (persistence). Anyone can do anything if three conditions exist: a. b. c.
You want to achieve it. You believe you can achieve it You enjoy trying to achieve it.
The third condition is the most important. If you want to be great you have to first endure/enjoy being lousy and practice until you can be great. If you don't enjoy the trying even when it feels like you're not succeeding, you'll never do it long enough to reach your goal. 14. Pursue your passion (ease). Stop trying so hard. a.
Make a list of all the things you love doing, things that intrigue you, and that you'd like to try doing. Don't limit the list or judge it; write down everything.
b.
Separate the activities you do with people from the activities you do alone.
c.
Look for activities you do alone and figure out if you can (and want to) do them in a way that includes other people. If you can (and want to) keep them on the list. If not, then cross them off.
d.
Spend 90 percent of your time either at work or if you can't yet, then outside of work, doing the things you love (or have always wanted to try) with people who also love doing those things. If possible, take a leadership role.
If you're passionate about what you're doing and you’re doing it with other people who are passionate about what they're doing, then chances are, the work you eventually end up doing for your livelihood will be more in line with the stuff you love to do. Then your life changes. You're doing work you love, at which you excel, with people you enjoy. You can't help but succeed. Your best bet at succeeding is to throw yourself into things you adore. If you don't have a job, your hardest job is to manage your fear. It won't take longer to find a job even though you're spending less time looking - it'll take you less time. Spend this year in a way that excites you; that teaches you new things, that introduces you to new people who see you at your natural, most excited, most powerful best. Use and develop your strengths. Use and even develop your weaknesses. Express your differences and pursue the things you love. You'll always work tirelessly at your passions - hard work will feel easier. 15. What matters to you? Pursue your passion (meaning). The most common regrets of those who go home to die are "I wish I'd had a courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me" and "I wish I didn't work so hard". People don't regret working so hard, people regret that they work so hard on things that don't matter to them. Beyond the basics of making a living and having meaningful relationships, look deeper at what matters to you. a.
Ask yourself ‘what's working’? In your daily work/life? Why are you doing it? What is a source of pride? What impact do you feel you're having on people, ideas, or things that are important to you?
b.
Ask yourself what's neutral? What are you spending your time on that you don't particularly care about? What doesn't matter to you? What's not important?
c.
Ask yourself what alienates you? What do you spend your time on (work/life) that contradicts what matters to you? What makes you feel bad? Untrue to yourself? What are you even slightly embarrassed about?
Slowly over time, shift how you're spending your time. Maybe you're working in the wrong job, wrong company. Ask the questions. You'll be more dedicated, productive and effective if you care, because these things matter and have specific meaning to you. 16. Avoiding tunnel vision. Pause every once in a while to reconnect with the four behaviors: strengths, weaknesses, differences and passions. Don't get so absorbed into how you're going to achieve a goal, let you lose sight of where you're going in the first place and miss opportunities that would have taken you to your planned destination faster. Page 2 of 8
17. Avoiding surrender after failure. Failure is inevitable, useful and educational. Set goals where you have 50-70% chance of success. According to David McClelland, a psychologist and Harvard researcher, that's the sweet spot for high achievers. In high risk, high-leverage situations, it's better to stay within your current capability but in lower risk situations push the envelope. When you fail, figure out what you should do differently and try again - that's practice. According to one study, ten thousand hours of that kind of practice will make you an expert in anything. It's in your head. If you believe your talents are inborn / fixed, then you try to avoid failure to reinforce a sense of competence because failure is proof of your limitation. You've hit a wall, can't do something and won't ever be able to. If you believe your talent grows with persistence and effort, you seek failure as an opportunity to improve. People with a growth mindset feel smart when they're learning, not when they're flawless. Encourage staff by giving them tasks above their abilities. Tell them to work at it for a while, struggle with it. That it will take more time than the tasks they're used to doing. That you expect they'll make some mistakes along the way but that you know they can do it. 18. Avoiding paralysis. Don't be paralyzed by uncertainty, just keep moving. Everyone is motivated by three things: a. b. c.
Achievement (the desire to compete against increasingly challenging goals) Affiliation (the desire to be liked/loved) Power, expressed in one of two ways Personalized (the desire for influence / respect) Socialized (the desire to empower others; to offer them influence and respect)
If people have the opportunity to achieve, affiliate, and influence, they'll be motivated and engaged – even without a clear vision of the future. So instead of worrying about tomorrow, focus on answering these 3 questions: a.
Are you working on something meaningful and challenging - something for which you have about a 50 percent chance of succeeding?
b.
Are you relating to other people at work or socially people you like and to whom you feel close?
c.
Do you feel recognized for the work you are doing paid / unpaid? Can you influence decisions / outcomes?
Wherever the answer isn't yes, create those opportunities immediately. Make sure you have clear goals and the autonomy to achieve them. Make sure you are working on something you find challenging and interesting. Find opportunities to collaborate and celebrate with others. In times of uncertainty, people become more political. They suspect that their colleagues are trying to be
noticed, take more credit, work on better projects. But as they work on projects collaboratively, their trust grows. Look for opportunities to offer input on how things should be done and if necessary, ask for your participation to be recognized. It maybe contrived, but it works. As long as you create the environment - one in which you feel challenged, loved and respected then you'll be motivated enough to keep moving in the right direction. Even without a plan or even a destination. 19. Avoiding rush to judgment. The time to judge your successes or failures is never. Accept you're not fully in control of life, but how you face and react is in your control. View adversity as an opportunity to get better. This requires a change in attitude/beliefs. 20. Creating your annual focus. Find 5 things to focus on each year (maybe it’s 3 or 7 - whatever works for you). These are the areas that will make the most difference in your life. It works if you can feel accomplished in these categories without getting confused/overwhelmed or dropping balls. These are not measurable/goals, but areas of focus. You can create specific goals in each category. They should be substantial so that at the end of the year you will know it was time well spent. Make tough decisions about what doesn't merit your attention. In the case of conflicts, choose the area that has not been getting enough attention to balance time out.
Part III: What is this year about? Organize your life around the things that matter to you, make you happy, use your gifts and move you towards your goals and avoid derailers. Each morning ask yourself: Am I prepared for this day? Prepared to make it a successful, productive day? Have I thought about it? Planned for it? Anticipated the risks that might take me off track? Will my plan for this day keep me focused on what my year is about? 21. Planning ahead. To navigate a day, look ahead. Plan the route then follow through. 22. Deciding what to do. Building a structured to do list helps to ensure the right things get done even if everything doesn't. The only way to impact on your areas of focus for the year is spending your time focusing on those areas. Every day. When you create a to-do list, group them in your areas of focus - the 5, then add one more - "the other 5%". This structure helps carve out the overwhelming number of tasks into manageable, digestible chunks. This structure gives you an idea as well of how you are spending your time between areas. If there's an imbalance on a given day, it may not be an issue unless it becomes a trend. If your "other 5%" is always full, it may mean you should delay until you have more time in your schedule. Page 3 of 8
23. Deciding what not to do. Ask yourself: What are you willing not to achieve? What doesn't make you happy? What's not important to you? What gets in the way? Review both this list, your "to do" list every day, along with your calendar and ask: What's the plan for today? Where will I spend my time? How will it further my focus? How might I get distracted?" Follow through. Be willing to disappoint a few people. Choosing what to ignore is as important as choosing where to focus. 24. Using your calendar. If you really want to get something done, decide when and where you are going to do it. Take your calendar and schedule your list of things to do into slots. Place the hardest and most important items at the beginning of the day – if possible, even before checking your email. That will make it more likely you'll accomplish what you need to and feel good at the end of the day. Since your entire list will not fit in your calendar, you'll need to prioritize your list for that day. What needs to get done today? What have you been neglecting? What categories have you been neglecting? Where can you slot those things into your schedule? Leave time, preferably in the afternoon, to respond to other people's needs and items in the "other 5%." If you schedule it, you'll be comfortable not doing it until the scheduled time – letting you focus on your priorities without worrying that you're neglecting anything. You will often know ahead of time that you won't be able to accomplish everything on your to-do list during the day. This is good because now you are in control – vs. being surprised, disappointed and feeling helpless at the end of the day. You can be strategic about what gets left behind. 25. The three day rule - getting things off your to do list. After you've scheduled your calendar and made hard choices of what you can fit in your limited time, you will still have a long list of items that didn’t fit into your calendar for the day. For anything that has been on your list for three days: a.
Do immediately if it takes only a few minutes to do.
b.
Schedule it. You can change it when you review that day, even if it's 6 months away. For things you're not willing to schedule, while you might like to think it's important, you're not acting that way. Let it go.
c.
Let it go. Delete it – it’s not enough of a priority. If you don't want to forget it, use the someday/maybe list.
d.
Someday/maybe. Look at this list monthly or so. Delete ones that are no longer relevant.
e.
Waiting list. Keep track of things you are expecting from others so you can follow up. Assign a date and reminder for each item. If you haven't received the thing you're waiting for, you’ll know to follow up or let go of expectation of hearing back from the person.
This process takes the guilt out of the list. Never leave things on your to do list for more than 3 days. They'll just get in the way of what you really need to get done. 26. Who are you? The power of a beep. The feeling of being overwhelmed can cause us to react in ways we do not feel reflect who we are. a.
Things falling through the cracks - we don't answer our emails, return calls, or really listen - and this insults and disappoints others.
b.
We live in a constant state of dissatisfaction - feeling ineffective. Feeling insufficient and so we disappoint ourselves
We need discipline - a ritual that can help us stay centered and grounded throughout the day - to remind us who we really are - who we want to be. Each morning set your watch/computer to beep every hour. At the sound of the chime, take one minute to ask yourself if that last hour has been productive. During that pause, deliberately commit to how you're going to use the next hour. Keep focused on what you're committed to doing. Take a deep breath and ask if you've been the person you want to be. Deliberately recommit not just to what you're going to do, but who you're going to be over the next hour. Losing control, becoming someone you're not, happens over time. It builds throughout several hours - and that once an hour reminder, that one deep breath, that question about who you want to be, keeps you stable. This can help manage anger, procrastination, etc. When the beep sounds, take a breath, and use that one minute to pause. Keep yourself focused and steady by interrupting yourself hourly. 27. Evening minutes - reviewing and learning. Thinking about what you learned and with whom you should connect help to make tomorrow an even better day than today. At the end of the day, ask these questions: a.
How did the day go? What success did I experience? What challenges did I endure?
b.
What did I learn today? About myself? About others? What do I plan to do - differently or the same tomorrow?
c.
Who did I interact with? Anyone I need to update? Thank? Ask a question of? Share feedback with?
If we don't think about it, we are apt to overlook especially this last set of questions - which are crucial to maintaining and growing relationships. This is also a ritual that can help companies become learning organizations – it doesn't take much time. 28. Creating a daily ritual - an 18 minute plan for managing your day. This is easy enough to do each day, keep us focused on our priorities and efficient enough not to get in the way. Page 4 of 8
STEP 1 (5 min): Your morning minutes Before turning on your computer, look at the to-do list you created (#22). Decide what will make this day highly successful. What can you realistically accomplish that will further your focus for the year and allow you to leave at the end of the day feeling that you've been productive and successful? Then take those things off your to do list and schedule them into your calendar (#24 and #25). Anything that's been on your list for three days gets a slot somewhere in your calendar or move it off your list. STEP 2 (1 minute every hour): Refocus Set your watch, phone or computer to ring every hour and start the work that's listed on your calendar (#26). When you hear the beep, take a deep breath and ask yourself if you spent your last hour productively. Then look at your calendar and deliberately recommit to how you are going to use the next hour. Manage your day hour by hour don't let the hours manage you. STEP 3 (5 minutes): Your evening minutes At the end of your day, shut off your computer, review how the day went, asking yourself the three sets of questions (#27): How did the day go? What did you learn about yourself? Is there anyone I need to update? Shoot off a couple of emails or calls to make sure you've communicated with the people you need to contact. The power of the ritual is its predictability. If you do the same thing in the same way over and over again, the outcome is predictable - in the case of 18 minutes, you'll get the right things done. It will help you leave the office feeling productive and successful.
Part IV: What is this Moment About? Learn how to master distraction: how to use it, avoid it, how to follow through when it's tempting to give up. Protect yourself and your time by creating the right kind of boundaries. The hardest part about managing time isn't the plan - it's the day to day - getting started, sticking to your areas of focus, ignoring non priorities and avoiding unproductive busyness. Mastering your initiative Procrastination’s strongest influence is at the beginning of a project. If a task is big and challenging, requiring deep thought and effort it can feel daunting. 29. Avoid the need for motivation. To a larger extent than you probably realize, your environment dictates your actions. If you use a big spoon, serve yourself on a large plate, or eat with more people you'll eat more. If you move the bowl of chocolates on your desk 6 feet away, you’ll eat half as much. Don't fight to change behavior in the midst of the wrong environment; change the environment. Create an environment that encourages you to do the things you want and harder not to (e.g. make it easier to fill in time sheets for greater compliance).
30. We need less motivation than we think. Never quit a diet while reading the dessert menu. Know when you're vulnerable and you'll know when you need to turn it on. You only need to be motivated for a few seconds. It's impossible to ignore feelings of uncertainty, doubt and temptation, so schedule them. Decide to decide when you are in the right state of mind - when you need the least willpower, a time you know when your commitment won't be weakened by temptations of the moment. If you do decide to change your commitment, at least it won’t be from momentary weakness - it'll be a strategic, rational and intentional decision. 31. Having fun. Fun reduces our need to motivate ourselves because fun is motivating. We do what we choose to do. If something's fun, we’ll choose to do it. Fun competitions that solve real problems are a great way to boost morale and keep people engaged especially in somewhat depressing times. Two rules: a.
Focus on real problems and opportunities - make work itself fun. Get others involved. Solving problems with others is often more fun than solving them alone.
b.
Money isn't fun - bounties are less inspiring. Getting paid for something transforms fun into work - fun is not about the money. This is why prizes like gaming systems can be more motivating.
What if for cold calls, you gave a prize for the most obnoxious responses you hear? Fun doesn't require a competition either. Go through your workday with a sense of amusement - it's a lens through which you view the world. It helps you work hard at something, seemingly unburdened by the threat of failure. When you do fail, you laugh and keep going. It's contagious and why it's such a critical leadership quality. 32. Getting started and keeping it going. You need both carrots and sticks - reward and fear, but not at the same time. To change behavior, start with fear then experience the reward. Fear is a great catalyst - it's the booster rocket, the initial push that moves us through the inertia, but it isn't sustainable. For longer term change, fear needs to be followed by the experience of a better life. The fulfilled promise of a better present. Start with fear, then notice, pay close attention to the positive impact of your choice. To lose weight, shut your eyes before taking the first bite of ice cream and imagine what you would look like at twice your current size. Visualize if you had diabetes. Exaggerate it even. That's your stimulus. After a few days as you feel healthier, more energetic, let go of that fear and hold on to the feeling of a looser belt. 33. Telling the right story about yourself. There are deeper and more powerful motivators than money. People tend to think of themselves as stories - when you interact with someone - you're playing a role in her story. Finish the Page 5 of 8
sentence "I'm the kind of person who..." How does that story support or detract from what you want to accomplish? A good story, one you feel deeply about and in which you see yourself, is tremendously motivating and satisfying. Make sure the story you tell about yourself (sometimes only to yourself) inspires you to move in the direction you want to move. 34. Getting out of your own way. We often want to imagine the worst, feeding our fear with fantasies and sometimes creating a future that fulfills our nightmares. Pretend. Act as if. Pretend what others are saying is the truth – e.g. they're not angry, they're busy. Keep being persistent. Maybe you'll be living a fantasy, but maybe you already are - why not choose the fantasy world that works for you and supports you instead of against you? Mastering your boundaries Rules and ideas for resisting the distractions by others, starting with how to know when you should tend to the requests people make of you and when you should say yes, no and when you should confront someone. What are some of the things you can do to help others use your time wisely? 35. Saying yes appropriately. Working with people takes time and different people have different priorities. When someone comes to you with a request, ask yourself: a.
Am I the right person?
b.
Is this the right time?
c.
Do I have enough information?
If it fails any test, don't do it. If a meeting request doesn't pass the test, decline. If you’re cc'd on an email that doesn't pass the test, ask the sender to remove you from the list before you get the flurry of reply all responses. 36. Saying no convincingly. Never break a rule – mean it when you say “no”. People follow examples and conventions. Once you let your respect of rules erode, so does others’ respect for them. e.g. for an assistant who won't stop interrupting a.
Set a regular appointment that does not get cancelled to address open issues/questions
b.
When you do get interrupted, you need to look at them without smiling and tell them that whatever it is, it needs to wait until the appointed time.
It's hard, silly even, but it's a slippery slope. Explain later that total concentration is required and will allow you to lose your train of thought - but not then. Any explanation at the time will reduce the discomfort. 37. Know when to say something. Rule of three: First time someone does something that makes you feel uncomfortable, just notice it. Second time, acknowledge that the first time wasn’t an isolated event or an accident but a potential pattern and observe more closely and plan a response. Third time, always speak to the person about it. Everyone slips once or twice, but acting on the rule of
three gives you the confidence and ability to speak with authority. Don't wait long to bring something up. People can only respect boundaries they know are there. 38. Increasing transition time. Transition time is time (e.g. travel) before meetings and scheduled events. It's time to think and to plan and maximize the outcome. Make a meeting shorter, faster and more productive. Figure out what you really need from people then let them know you want to make the 60 minute meeting 30 minutes and tell them how you plan to do it. Need ownership? Think about how you can involve them more openly, get their perspectives, and engage them. Going to a dinner? Think about how you can have more fun. Schedule it - put it into your calendar. End meetings at least 15 minutes before the hour and schedule that time to prepare for the next one. If you don't use it for planning, you can still use it for going to the bathroom, answering email or surfing the web - more efficient then, than in the meeting anyway. 39. Decreasing transition time. Sometimes too much preparation can be a bad thing - like looking over a cliff after you've already decided to jump to the water below. Organizations do this often - change is decided, then a lot of energy is spent trying to make everyone feel great about the change before they've experienced it. If there's something you need to do that you find difficult (e.g. writing a proposal, having an unpleasant conversation with someone), try doing it first thing in the morning to minimize the time you have to think about it. Here are 3 steps that may quicken a transition: a.
Listen fully to concerns. Repeat back what you hear and ask if you got it right. Once they agree you understand their issues move to (b)
b.
Share your perspective. Once. Check for their understanding not their agreement - you want to make sure they hear your view.
c.
Don't repeat. This is critical to moving them through to acceptance. If you've performed steps (a) and (b) effectively, you're done. More just lengthens the transition and the dread.
Shortening the transition time creates a boundary that helps you and others adjust to a new reality. 40. Managing the tension of relaxation. To manage the tension of being in touch during vacation without ruining it by being plugged in 24/7, two possibilities: a.
Complete unplug. This gives your team an opportunity to grow, develop and use their own judgment - while problems may initially crop up, given time, your team will likely solve it themselves.
b.
Schedule plug-ins. Choose a specified time frame every evening when you will be reachable. A few minutes at the end of each day, (or ideally, every few days), to answer emails and make calls. Admit you Page 6 of 8
will be working on vacation but scheduling time means that you're setting aside the rest of the time to not work - which may save your vacation. This strategy is good even when you're not on vacation, though the plug-ins will be more frequent. Scheduling specific times to take care of emails and phone calls each day avoids the tech creep that takes over our lives and allows us to focus on a single thing for longer. Scheduling time sets clear expectations - for you, for the other people and for people reaching you. Everyone will be relieved. When you take vacation or if you want to be undisturbed, schedule a specific time to take care of the things that will otherwise creep into every available moment. Mastering yourself We are sometimes our own worst enemy. Sometimes though, distracting yourself can be useful. Not all distractions are bad. 41. Creating productive distractions. There is a famous marshmallow experiment where kids were given an opportunity to delay gratification for an extra marshmallow. Those who were able to, were found to have better relationships, more dependable and even scoring an average 210 points higher on their SATs. The secret wasn't more willpower - but a technique distraction. Rather than focusing on not eating the marshmallow, they closed their eyes, sat under the table, sang a song. They avoided the urge, they didn't resist it. Focusing on resisting temptation makes it only harder to resist. Distract yourself by focusing on something else entirely. When you want to do something, focus. When you don't want to do something, distract. 42. Avoid switch tasking. We don't multitask we switch task. Resist the temptation. Try avoiding multitasking for a week to see what happens. You may notice 6 things: a.
It's delightful. Being focused in the moment, you may notice more and experience an event more fully.
b.
You may make significant progress on challenging projects - ones that require thought and persistence.
c.
Your stress level may drop dramatically. Research suggests multitasking is stressful. It can be a relief and reassuring to finish one thing before moving on.
d.
You may lose patience for things that aren't a good use of your time - like meandering meetings. You may demand greater focus to get things done with less tolerance for wasted time.
e.
You may experience tremendous patience for things you feel are enjoyable and useful. With nothing else competing for your attention, you can settle into that one thing.
f.
You may experience no downside. No projects left unfinished. No one frustrated with not returning a call or failing to return an email.
How do we avoid the temptation to multitask? a.
The best way to avoid interruption is turn them off.
b.
Use your loss of patience to your advantage. Create unrealistically short deadlines. Cut all meetings in half. Give yourself a third the time you think you need to finish something. Deadlines keep things moving. When things are moving fast, we focus on them. Single tasking to meet a tight deadline will reduce your stress. Giving yourself less time to do things could make you more productive and more relaxed.
c.
Accept that sometimes you have to multitask a little.
43. Getting over perfectionism. You won’t do something if you think you aren't good enough at it. If you think you are, you will. The world doesn't reward perfection, it rewards productivity. Productivity can only be achieved through imperfection. Make a decision. Follow through. Make mistakes. Learn from the outcome. Repeat over and over again. Only through the imperfect can we achieve glimpses of the perfect. How to avoid perfectionism? a.
Don't try to get it right in one big step. Just get going. Don't write a book, write a page. Smaller steps will give you the opportunity to succeed more often which builds confidence. If goals can be achieved in less than a day, that’s more opportunity to succeed.
b.
Do what feels right to you, not to others. Read, listen, and learn from others, then put all the advice away and shoot for the new gold standard: Good enough. The key to perfection isn't getting it right, it's getting it often. If you do that, eventually, you'll get it right.
c.
Choose your friends, co-workers and bosses wisely. Critical feedback is helpful if it's offered with care and support. Ignore feedback that comes from jealousy, insecurity, arrogance, or without any real knowledge of you. If you're a manager, first rule: Do No Harm. Remove obstacles that prevent people from making their maximum contribution. Don’t destroy a person’s confidence. Catch someone doing seven things right before you point out one thing they're doing wrong. Keep up that seven-to-one ratio and you'll keep your employees moving in the right direction.
44. The value of getting things half right. In delegating work, give a task and ask “Why won't this work for you?” When they answer, respond: "That's a good point. So how can you change it to make it work?" It sends the message they are accountable for their own success. When someone changes your plan, resist the temptation to explain why your way is better. Smile and say "great." The drive, motivation, and accountability that person will gain from running with their own idea will be worth it. Even in making a sale, get the pitch half right and then ask "Why won't this work for you?" Redesign the offer in collaboration with your potential client - and you'll turn a potential client into a partner who ends up buying their own idea, and works with you to make it successful. Page 7 of 8
Forget about lengthy presentations and long meetings. Getting things half right will take half as long and give you better results. Don't just settle for imperfect. Aim for it. 45. Staying flexible. Don't see change as a distraction or an impediment. Think of it as an opportunity to show your flexibility and build trust as a consequence. Pause, breathe and before you react, ask: a.
What's the situation? (The outcome you want to achieve? The risks? The time pressures? The needs?)
b.
Who else is involved? (What are their strengths? Weaknesses? Values? Vulnerabilities? Needs?)
c.
How can I help? (What are your strengths? Weaknesses? Values? Vulnerabilities? Needs?)
Then, and only then decide what you will do or say. Choose the response that leverages your strengths, uses your weaknesses, reflects your differences and expresses your passion and meets people where they are and is appropriate to the situation you're in. Look for opportunity and beauty in crisis and change.
Part V: Now what? A foolproof method for critical momentum to move forward. 46. Choosing your one thing. We often overwhelm ourselves with tasks in order to make a change successful. That's a mistake – instead, figure out the one and only one thing that will have the highest impact. Focus 100 percent of your effort on that one thing. Choose it and do it. Instead of remaking initiatives and redoing them from scratch, simplify them, reduce them to their essence. Let everything else go. If you're going to work on a weakness, always choose a single, high leverage one. Choose one thing from this book that will make the most difference in your life and do it. No matter what. Then naturally you'll start to incorporate the others and with time you'll find that your life moves in a purposeful direction. Making sure that your days and moments are guided by what you want to accomplish with your years means each moment will reflect the life you choose to live so you'll know you're getting the right things done. It starts with your one thing.
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